Day 5: I imagine a warm sunny day, sitting by the water with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. It really is the picture of perfection in my mind. It makes no difference to me that there is snow on the ground and it is actually cold, I'm pretty sure if I have a cigarette, I will have beach front property and it will be a balmy 80 degrees. I can feel the sun on my face, the mist of the ocean on my arms, the cigarette between my fingers, I can taste the pomegranate martini and oh yeah it's good.
My imagination and logic like to dispute one another,
I say that, because I hear the other side screaming, well honestly it is screaming a lot of things
1. You live in Utah, there is no beach.
2. It's the middle of winter not warm.
3. You can't drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes in public areas, you live in Utah.
4. The cigarette isn't as good as you imagine, it will actually taste disgusting, and btw you live in Utah.
5. The last time you had sun, water and smokes, you actually had to hang out in the parking lot of the water park and make your drinks in the trunk and smoke out there, because you live in Utah. (don't judge me I wasn't alone :))
6. Oh and the time before that, you mixed your drink in a water container and had to smuggle it into the local pool and you didn't get to smoke a cigarette with it because you live in Utah.
But you know what I say to you logic, LA LA LA I'm not listening!
If only I had that cigarette all would be well, even in Utah.
Don't worry there will be a Day 6, I really just like to say la, la, la I'm not listening :)
Your are doing awesome Sherri!!! Keep it up. I have 38 more days until I can officially say that I have made it one year smoke free.
ReplyDeleteAnd I never thought there would be a day where I would be proud to say that. I loved smoking. I ignored every thing that it was doing to my body. I had an excuse for everything. I tried to exercise and ran out of breath. I said I was just fat and out of shape. And while that may have been slightly true...the reality of it was that smoking took it's toll on my lungs and making it very difficult to breath.
I happened to have a great doctor who opened my eyes and made me see what smoking was doing to my body.
You can do it!!! I know you will. Even though you are in Utah and I am in Ohio...I will be behind you every step of the way.
I didn't really have the support I needed. I had to truly rely on my willpower to get through that time. Even through extreme stress when I just felt like the cigarette would cure all for me. I had to fight through it. I know you can do this!
You crack me up. The sad truth is that even if you did light up (and you damn well better not) you would still be in Utah - lol! You just can't smoke away this state! But you are doing great so stay the course!
ReplyDeleteCharity, thanks for the encouraging words, and great job, getting past 6-9 months is a major accomplishment, that is usually when people feel like they are free from the addiction and decide to smoke for some little reason. At least that is what I have done in the past. It never ends well. I know you will make it the next 38 days, good luck and here is to breathing easier.
ReplyDeleteCarol, I know it and thanks for the support.