Day 45: Warning Warning these coming texts may cause you to start drinking, smoking or really partake of anything that may shorten your life or cause you to forget moments out of it.
I have been struggling with not smoking, mainly because of my weight, the increase is in direct correlation with the quitting and the herniated disc in my back. Weight is the reason or at least the excuse I use every time I go back. Let me do the math for you,
Half a pack of Newport's + 3 or 4 Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches = 0 calories consumed
No Newport's + 1 Fat Boy= Fat Girl
Adding to the struggle the "Childrens" I don't even want to use their names today, I just want to pretend they are a figment of my imagination.
Yesterday one of the childrens, opened my cabinet to get a bowl, while searching he thought it was a good idea to lean all his weight on it, at which point it busted and had to be taken off the hinges. When "M" told him to get a screw driver and take it off, the boy came back in and started leaning on the already broken cabinet door so he could unscrew it. Then tells "M": Stop yelling at me. I'm sorry what????? Five minutes later after getting the door off, he runs upstairs for who knows what and bounds back down like he is doing Parkour in the stairwell. At which point he informs me, " You know the railing will be next". OK, I'm sorry what????? You are giving me a heads up to pulling my railing from the wall, well thanks buddy.
One of the other childrens is coming up on the end of a semester, which means the reality has set in that, "oh my gosh I might not pass my math class". "I don't know mom, I had a C or B it must have been that last test ." Knowing she struggles with math, what was I thinking letting her add up her own grades to figure out what she had? When I did the math yesterday her C or B was actually a very low C on the way to a D not anywhere in the direction of a B. Clearly, she struggles with directions as well ... She pays us tuition back for C's or lower, so it is not about the money. I can't fix this because the semester is over in seven days and for my overly controlling personality that drives me crazy.
Oh Newport's take me away.
Disclaimer: The girl, just to clarify is in College Algebra and even I hated it. And no Newport's have been smoked since the start of this blog. Day 45 and counting .
Whew . . . OK, no Newports so that is a good thing. I think once your back is taken care of the rest will be much more manageable. So the thing I think you need to do is remove some of those temptations from your fridge/freezer/pantry and plan out a better way of dealing with it. For instance, a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich is a lot less calories (140)! Also, I know it is against your controlling personality but maybe take up a mantra like: "Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part." You can get through this. One day the kids will be grown and off on their own and you can rub these events in their faces so make sure you are keeping a log - LOL!
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