Maybe a little Jose Cuervo.

Day 73: Still not smoking, but definitely contemplating taking up drinking.

The ability to do nothing, takes a will power that I do not have. Having limitations set on what I can do and can't do leaves me feeling very idle.  It is that idleness that whispers in my ear for a cigarette to fill the void, the time, the nothingness.
It is amazing to recognize now, that while I have not worked or went to school in over a year, I did in fact keep myself very busy.  Even on days when I thought I did nothing, I was wrong I did something.  "Nothing" looks different than what I thought, nothing is a lonely place, a twiddle your thumbs kind of place, a place where you have started to contemplate whether some internet shopping might just fix everything.  It's okay I haven't stepped in that void yet, don't worry just pray for me :).
So you're wondering where Jose comes in, well in my idleness I've wished I could justify taking my prescribed pain pills, because the 120 percocet I have from surgery would make the time fly or at least make me feel like I was flying, which for the next 4 weeks I won't be able to .. fly that is, or drive in a car for too long either.  There is also the ever present "children", now "S" has been gone for the past two weeks housesitting, so I don't really have any complaints or WTH moments, but the other one, oh you know the one.

I won't bore you with all of my fun daily mothering activities with "T", but let me just tell ya about the most recent.  I should start by saying that since I have not been allowed to drive for two weeks, T has been very good about putting on deodorant, brushing his teeth and perhaps remembering to put on boxers because he was warned no one will be bringing you those things if you forget, "your mother can't drive".  Tuesday, he comes home from school, we do the normal routine, which now has some added responsibility of things that have driven me nuts during the day, like the dog hair on the carpet that needs to be vacuumed immediately.  "No I don't have homework, I'm hungry, I'm going to take a shower (track practice)", so now it's about 6:20pm and he goes over to a friends to go with him to tumbling (which I'm assuming is gymnastics, these kids are 15 yrs old)  and maybe get ice cream on their way home.  At exactly 6:46pm T comes barging through the door, laughing "I have a band concert" , running upstairs to iron black dress pants and a dress shirt.
Okay let me start by saying the band concerts are always at 7pm, the high school is about 10-15 minute drive from my house.  On concert days you must wear your dress clothes to school.  Now I'm doing a little thing that is my stress reliever, yelling.  I'm yelling "seriously, you didn't remember you had a band concert, when you showed up at school today with out being dressed properly a big bell didn't go off in your head, why did you suddenly remember, how the hell do expect to get there on time, you know this is worth 300 points which you can't afford to have a 0 on, had you left already for tumbling, did they have to drive you back here??? Oh my gosh hurry up ironing those damn clothes! "
Do you see where I'm going here, I can't smoke, but Jose he might help.  The question becomes my liver or my lungs, what are my odds, this I don't know, so no Jose for today.

T made it miraculously on time, and when we got there his friend was standing outside, I thought waiting for him, but when T got home I found out, that his friend was waiting for his mom to show up with his instrument, which he had in the car when he got dropped off but didn't bring it in and the person driving him was now thirty minutes away at the college, to which his mother had to furiously run up to college to collect the instrument and bring it back to the kid.  He also just made it, although they had been on stage for 10 minutes his part hadn't started yet.  I felt like she might need that shot and was happy that it's not just my kid!